So we have a lot of change and decisions coming our way. One of the choices I'm debating with is whether to stay at home and be a full time "Mom" or whether to continue working. I have no intention of working full time because it really wouldn't make a whole lot of sense for us right now, but I've thought about working 10-15 hours a week. I've worked so hard to get to the point that I'm at in my job and it's hard to just throw it all out the door. Nate and I could probably work our schedules out where he could be home while I'm at work.
My mom was around when we were younger and still worked, but our situation was somewhat unique - because we had the family business we just went to work with her when she went. Nate's mom teaches piano out of her home so she was around as well. But things are so much different from when our parents were raising young kids.
With the cost of everything increasing it's getting harder and harder to live only on one income especially if we are going to try to buy a house in the somewhat near future. I'm curious how you all came to the decisions that you did about whether to work or not. If you don't have kids yet what do you intend to do, or what did your mom do? It seems that everyone has an opinion on the matter, I'd love to hear yours!
Just for the record I don't think there is a right or wrong decision. I think everyone has a unique situation and that what works for one family doesn't work for another.
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Wend, I totally understand what you are going through! Me and Coby debated those same questions just a little bit ago and it was a really hard decision. My old work from O-Town ended up offering me a job working from home, which has been such a blessing, but also the hardest thing I've ever done! I definitely seen the benefits of both, but really its what you feel the best about and for us it was for me to be home and be with her even tho it is definitely not easy. Those who think staying home is taking the easy way out have no clue what sacrifice is! When we were back in the hospital with Mae everytime I would leave to go home and shower or something, Mae's little heartbeat would go up sooo much and we realized just how important parents are to their babies. With Nate probably being able to watch him while you are at work you are lucky that he'd be able to be with his daddy which I think makes a difference. Good luck on your decision. My biggest piece of advice would be to pray and fast about it and see what you feel! I love you Wend!
For me, I always wanted to stay home, but at the same time I liked the idea of bringing in some extra cash. To be completely honest I was really really really bored and almost a little depressed for the first 8 months. I jumped at the chance to watch a little girl the same age as Easton every day (this was when Easton was about 8 months). Then after that job ended I got another babysitting job. It helped to keep me busy and was satisfying in that I was earning money for the family. But babysitting is SO hard because you just don't love the kids as much as you love your own.
Now I am soooo busy that I can't even imagine having a job and I know it will only get worse! I agree with the above comment! Pray and fast about it, and it never hurts to try it out. If it's too much for you then you can quit! That is so wonderful that Nate could be home while you were at work. That makes a big difference!!!
That is a tough decision. I don't have any kids yet so my advice might not be as good as others. I intend to continue to work, but with my job I only work 2 days a week, but they are 12 hour shifts. I would hope to go down to only one shift a week because I have to work to keep my license. I would love to be a stay at home mom, but at the same time I think I would like to get out and associate with other adults every so often. My sister in law is a stay at home mom. She loves being home with her kids, but at the same time she says that it is hard because she feels like she is stuck in a rut. Her husband goes to work and school and has made new friends and socializes with them and she said she feels like she is left behind and is just the one who takes care of the kids. There is no right or wrong answer. I think you might benefit from only working those few hours for the first little while and then make a decision. It might even give your husband a chance to bond more closely as he will be the one taking care of the baby all by himself. I say do what fits best for you and your family. I hear there is so much joy in being a stay at home mom. It is full time job after all, no matter if you work somewhere else or not.
Hey Wendee, it's tara (jensen) manning. I am so excited I came across your blog. Congrats on the baby news. I am so glad that we can keep in touch. Send me your e-mail to tarajensen82@yahoo.com. We are private so I will send you an invite. As for you post, you have plenty of time to decide and you will probably want to wait until after the baby is born. It's hard to know how you will feel after they arrive. I was planning on working but as soon as my little one was born, there was no way I could leave her. But, some mom's really need the time away from home which I totally understand. My advice is to see how you feel after he arrives, you will then know what's right for you. Well, let's keep in touch.
Sweet Wendee this is probably one of the hardest decisions I ever made. When I graduated high school I was going to be business queen and conquer the world. After I was a nanny for a year I learned a lot about what kids suffer from when they can't be with the parents. It would be awesome if your baby could be with his daddy while you worked, that's what my sister does. The only complaint she has is that she is always burned out. She has very little time with her husband and then when the baby is asleep there's always laundry and other chores piling up. It takes a lot more effort to work on your marriage after a baby is born because there is simply less time. My mom was a stay at home mom. We didn't always have a ton of extra money or a huge fancy house, but I do have so many sweet memories growing up with my mom. She was always there.
For me I really wanted to go back to work and get a 'break' but when I saw that little baby and knew that I was the one that gave her everything- I couldn't leave her. She grew up so fast and I didn't want to miss it. It was still hard being home full time, but it was worth it to me. I was nursing and I didn't want to pump everyday and she hated formula. It's a hard call sweetie, one only you and your hubby can make. You can make it work no matter what you chose!
Hey Wend! It really has been too lonh since we've seen eachother. I'm excited to be in the blogging world! I think it really is a good way to keep in touch.
About the working vs. staying home. You know I always wanted to be a stay at home mom. And Bill has always completely supported that. But lately I have been feeling like maybe I could use a little break now and then. Like just a weekend job or something. Bill is against it because he's had it ingrained into him by his dad that his wife shouldn't have to work. But we really could use some extra income. Bill says he'll get a second job, but then the girls would never see him. I thought that if I got a job, we would work it out so Bill was home with the girls. That's the only way I'd want to do it. They need some Daddy time. It really is a hard choice. But just because you choose one way, doesn't mean it can't be changed later. I agree with Ash. Prayer is the best way to get an answer! Love you Wend!
Wendee Congratulations! We just welcomed our first baby girl and it has been exciting and an adjustment. Nikki decided she wanted to stay home. She debated working part-time but her income would barely cover day care expenses so we decided not to. I told her it is only a little money and the experiences she has and the "job" of taking care of her daughter is of higher value than working on people's teeth. She may change her mind later if she wants to work, but she is loving life at home. Someday I will finish Grad school and make some more money and everything will work out. Stay close to the Lord as I am sure you do, and you will make the right decisions. Cameron
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